The Chicago Bears can't have nice things, apparently. And they almost didn't have Caleb Williams at quarterback, according to a soon-to-release book, "American Kings: A Biography of the ...

And this is why the book holds ... watch birds or bears, canoe, camp -- and instilling an understanding of the need to be involved in making the country a better place. "The Lorax" helps.

Fortunately, the Lorax doesn't appear in the book very much and you don't actually ... a-mole sight gags featuring adorable bar-ba-loots (bears to you) and three warbling fish.

According to ESPN writer Seth Wickersham's new book "American Kings: A Biography of the Quarterback," that wasn't even the half of it. Former Bears head coach Matt Eberflus and offensive ...